The First Post Post Freshly Pressed


I have been Freshly Pressed. It’s lovely. Hello to any and all new readers!

Middle Finger Salute

Even your blog stats are capable of giving you a middle finger salute.

It’s an honour and a privilege to be included amongst the pantheon of actually-good writers out there, even if the success of my contribution was mainly due to being at the right place at the right time in a good mood.

I shan’t let this achievement go to my head – ego can be a horrible beast – however, I think it’s fair to say now that I am definitely The Best. The view from the upper echelons is spectacular. I can see my house from up here, which makes me realise that anyone can see my house from up here, which makes me want to move.

On Monday at stupid-o-clock-in-the-morning, I received an email from a lovely lady at WordPress HQ telling me how much she/they liked the post I’d penned about the Olympics, and that more people should see it. This was a very nice thing for her to do. She even gave me a day’s head start to purge the grammatical errors, spruce up the necessary links and put out drinks and canapΓ©s and assorted nibbly bits for the influx of guests.

As well as being quite flattering, this alerted me to the thought I’d not previously entertained about the WordPresidents. They’re reading everything you write, and judging you accordingly. Whilst that’s legitimately scary, the flip side is that it’s someone’s job to read everything you write, poor thing, which means you have an obligation to make it interesting for them. Let’s all raise our collective game.

To my new followers, hello! Thank you for following! You are more than welcome, but I shall leave your jackets by the door for your inevitable swift exit when you realise that I’m not actually very interesting. You’re my favourites. Henceforth you shall be known as ‘Team A’.

And to my old followers, nay, to my friends. You’re my favourites as well. You can be called ‘The A Team’.

Anyway, thanks to everyone. There’s a post about the agony of social networking going up in a bit, just as soon as I’ve waded through all your notifications, comments and blogs to return the favours. You’re all most welcome.


97 thoughts on “The First Post Post Freshly Pressed

  1. Well done! Keep your fingers (and toes) crossed that you don’t get FP’d more than once. A blogging friend I’ve known here for quite a few years (okay, well then two. Maybe three. Well, two and half) has been FP’d three times. I lost count of all the comments he had – three figures, maybe four. And if it happens on a weekend (when staff are away and can’t change the chosen ones from the front page) you get more! πŸ˜‰

    I suspect I will never be FP’d. My writing’s probably up to it, but the woman who selects the blog posts doesn’t seem overimpressed by small images, nor posts with just one image in it. Oh well… !! πŸ˜‰

    I’m glad I found your blog. Already I love your writing and humour. I just wish I could remember how I found it!

    • Well one of today’s FP’s was about Skyrim, which I imagine has a large but very limited fan base. Never write yourself off. (See what I did there?) I doubt whether it’s just one person too, although it’s nice to have at least one fan in the camp!

      It’s an honour to be FP’d, but it was for a post I wouldn’t normally write. I do wonder if it would happen again. Val, you are the last legitimate member of The A Team, which is an accolade that comes with its own theme song.

  2. CB, I did find you on your fp post but my friend madame weebles was there so I knew to follow, I was fpeed a year ago, some stuck around, others talked about god a bit and then vanished.

    • You are most welcome, Joe. Mme Weebles and I go way back. Nearly a fortnight.

      Ah yes, the evangelicals. I wondered if they’d be showing up. A belated congratulations on your FP! I’m clearly in one of those moods, sorry.

      • You’re overcome with the glory, I remember it well as short lived as it was. I still remember the excitmenet of finding out, my life since has just been one depressing event after another. They need to create a support group for people who have been FP’d and then so callously cast aside for the next ones.

      • Well, it would appear the excitement has now ended. I stand here on this oh-so-visible mountain looking back into the valley of obscurity from whence I came, digging in my crampons. I look forward to the further misery of which you speak.

        Alternatively, I might make my next post ‘List of Things I Really Think About You All’ and go out in a blaze of arrogant glory.

  3. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed! Unlike you, I never received a warning. Then one day I noticed my stats go from double digits, to triple digits, to quadruple digits. It was quite an experience and a blast while it lasted. Of course, it does skew your stats for awhile. πŸ™‚

    • Thanks Carrie! I hope you realise you’re firmly in the A Team, and are recipient to all the benefits that theme tune provides.

      I think your Freshly Pressed-ness might be how I found you in the first place. (I’m behind on your blog, sorry about that). My stats look ridiculous now. It’s like August the 8th is looking at August the 7th like the Olympic Heavyweight Boxing Champion looks at a Rock-’em Sock-’em Robot.

  4. Congratulations, you deserve it! It’s such a surreal experience, and you’re perspective on it is quite interesting. I’ve always loved that WordPress tends to be more of a community, as opposed to other platforms like Blogger or Tumblr, although I suppose I never really thought about the fact that people are hired to read what we blog. Great post, and congrats again!


    • Thank you Halie, I’ve always thought that’s a very pretty way of spelling that particular name, if it’s not too bold to say so. You are more than welcome here!

      WordPress has gone some way to restoring my faith in people and written communication, after the advent of Twitter, YouTube comments and myriad Tumblrs with no original content on.

  5. Yup, saw your post on Freshly Pressed… Yup, was curious- read more. Yup, liked you, yup, followed you. Your wit is just perfectly balanced with your anxiety… plus, its cool that you live in London- and that you weigh only 4lbs. Amazing! πŸ˜‰

    • Thank you! I don’t know if I should call you Joshua – it would entertain me a great deal to get your name deliberately wrong, but you also refer to yourself as Josh on your About page, so it’s either a great brand name, a coincidence, or a good joke.

      Thanks for your kind words and further interest! I live in fear of many things; snapping is one of them, being blown into the road is another. I find the solution is to never leave the house, ever.

      • haaa Your humor is just SPOT ON! (trying to sound all British and stuff, ya know)
        There is most definitely a Joshua in the Joshua Tree Table Co. However, my name is Michelle and I am the main blogger for the moment… so, you can call me Josh- but that may be a little strange… or maybe not… since I’ve never tried being called a man’s name before…. even though my name is technically just the female version of the male version of the name Michael.

        Exhausted, yet? haha Either way, I find you wonderfully entertaining… so far. We will see how long it lasts! haha (Yes, I literally laugh each time I type “haha”) Its old school for all this LOL junk.

        Glad you are aware of the dangers of leaving your home! I mean snapping would be a horrible way to go… ugghhhh- the mental images…. πŸ™‚ Keep up the great work of being… YOU!

      • Thank you Michelle, I do like being spot on! If you like, I can call you Michael, Joshua, or anything else you so desire. I must say it’s a little strange to see a company using a blogging platform; you have at least done it well! You are clearly what I’d call a people company, which is evident already in you being pleasantly personable and revealing your name, and haha-ing all over the place.

        Thank you again for your kind words, I’m going to go off and be me some more, except at 1:30 tomorrow when it’s my turn to be Snoop Dogg for a bit. It’s a tough job but someone’s got to do it.

    • Thank you, oh Speaker. Your particular endorsement is most gladly received. I will make a badge with your face/Hugo’s face/Goofy’s face on it and wear it around town so that people know we’re blog friends.

  6. It’s almost always the people saying they’re not interesting who turn out to be the most interesting. So, although I may be a member of Team A with my jacket by the door, I’m just gonna bring it in with me because I’m planning on sticking around. Hope you don’t mind. πŸ™‚ And congrats on the FP!

    • Thank you Lillian, there’s chips and dip and assorted snackages on the table.

      Thank you for following, and for the congrats – I understand you’re one of those WordPress big-wheels they have around here, and your follow means a great deal.

      • Perfect. I’ll get on that straight away. Hah, just kidding. And I don’t know whose been spreading stories about me but the fact that you think I’m a WordPress big wheeler is really very flattering. Not to mention pressure-inducing. πŸ˜€

      • Well you’re one of those little avatars that appear time and again on the best blogs, dialoguing and hobnobbing with the best of them. I do love you little picture – so apt and charming. You’re clearly a classy lady.

  7. I definitely squee’d a bit when I first saw this on the WP Freshly Pressed page this morning. It made my morning! I know I told you this before, but am so excited for you. πŸ˜€ You are fantastic.

  8. Great writing. I love the photo of Boris Johnson dangling unceremoniously but still waving his flags. He encompasses all I love about England and its inhabitants – enthusiastic, eccentric and a little bit Monty Python.

    • Thank you Kate, it’s a pleasure to have you here. Ol’ BoJo is quite the character, isn’t he? Did you know he once stopped a mugging? He pulled up on his bike and scared them off, shouting ‘OIKS!’
      Thank you for following, reblogging and reading further – I will return the favour properly once I’ve sifted through all these notifications!

    • Thank you, oh Lady Giraffe! Your compliments are particularly welcome. The timing is not important – what counts is that you’re a welcome member of The A Team, and with that dubious honour comes a stonking theme tune.

      • Oh, I couldn’t possibly be the leader, I’m merely the founder. Whilst Ron Burgandy might ASSEMBLE his News Team and lead them to battle, I am perhaps more like Professor X off of the X-Men. Lazy.

  9. As with Lux, I was stoked beyond Senor & Senorita Stokington. My goodness, my dear sir. A most heartily epic of congratulations ;).

    Also, because commenting on a wonderfully fine post of yours seems to be the easiest way to get a hold of you, I have a question to ask…

    I have some friends that will be in England from August 15th-28th and would like to shoot a music video while they are on your side of the gargantuan pond we do share, looking at three days between the 20th-28th to do so. They are in need of a London-based dance troop (as that is where they will be) and I was wondering if you happened to know or know of any that could be passed along. Or even any dancers that would even in theory know any. Or would know anyone that would know some dancers. Etc. I believe the aim is for a total of between 10-25 people that can dance hip-hop. The original post and a few more details and things and such are here:

    If you would at all be able to help in any way, I know that it would most definitely be appreciated! There is an e-mail address in that post and if you are at all able to help, I know Tessa would love to hear from you because I know she would much like to be able to make that video and needs a dance troop to be able to make it happen.

    (And if you try that e-mail address and it doesn’t work for whatever reason [which would be weird because it should ], then by all means let me know and I would be more than happy to pass along whatever you would like me to pass along. :).)

    Have a SPLENDIDLY excellent rest of today!,

    Your Canadian Namesake Counterpart πŸ˜‰

    • Hi Chris! Great to see you on the ol’ Press again; I keep checking yours and Nicks pages for news on Canada and the gymnasts. Thanks for the kind words!

      If you need to, you can email me at any time; we’re chums so I won’t mind at all.

      When I first read your post I didn’t think I’d be much better use than google would be; I wouldn’t know the first thing about booking a dance troupe, especially as it’s non-corporate. I suppose the (horrible) question I need to ask is ‘is your friends’ operation ‘legit’ enough for this to be done via an agency?’ I’m not sure if Tessa wants to spend money; if she does, no problem, (although it’ll be expensive) if she doesn’t she’ll need a contact or several in the biz, who might not mind a bit of YouTube work.

      Have a go at googling independent agencies, or perhaps dipping a toe into LinkedIn. One thing I will say, is that check out where the dance troupe is said to be based geographically. I imagine most of the won’t mind travelling, so don’t write them off if you think they’re miles away. They’ll almost certainly cost less if they’re not London based. The limit is probably Birmingham.

      I MIGHT however have one lead; I had a friend at high school who is a dancer now, and oddly enough, she performed in the Olympic Opening Ceremony. (She was the lead ghoul thing running with the Childcatcher’s carriage) As I say, we’re out of touch, so I don’t know how ‘legit’ she is either, bless her. If she can’t help, she should at least be able to offer some guidance with this sort of thing, but I don’t even know if she’ll respond as we haven’t spoken for years…

      I’m also going to try another friend who is a session drummer in London, to see if he knows of any avenues to go down.

      As I say, I can only be of so much use, so whilst I’m happy to help, for goodness sake, don’t count on me!

      • Thank you most kindly! :). And trust me when I say that it is legit enough….haha. But I’m not sure whether or not THAT much money would be there to be able to go that route.

        I also didn’t at all think about digging up your e-mail. Haha. Yesterday was hilarious on my end and I’ve had the most thrillingly busy past week (also hence why no blogs. #sadface), so my mind was too much of a blur to think of the obvious. πŸ˜‰

        But yes. I shall pass that link on and hopefully it will help! :). I’m just trying to help find any and all possible leads.

  10. Oh my stars! I finally know (…know?) someone famous (on the Internet)!
    But on the serious, congratulations. That is totally and completely awesome. (The most impressive thing on my resume at the moment is a really cool snowflake I recently made while doing arts and crafts with the kids I babysit.)

    • Oh your stars indeed! Nah, I’m still a fuddly gump. No change there.

      Jane, if I’m worthy of this accolade then I see no reason why you shouldn’t be. Of all the blogs I subscribe to, you are far and away one of the most funny. As I’ve said before, I don’t ‘LOL’ a lot, but your posts absolutely do it for me.I don’t like to play favourites, but you’re in the top one. πŸ˜‰

      • Oh, dear. I’m thinking of tattooing this comment to my hand, so that whenever I get an “… um, yeah,” I can look down and remember that somewhere, there is a person who might have laughed.
        I am terrible at taking compliments and usually respond to them by throwing them back in the other person’s face. But I can say with 100% honesty that a&b (note how what i did there infused my comment with a sense of familiarity) is my favorite blog. As evidence, you should know that — despite the fact that I epitomize attention deficit disorder — your blog is one of the three or fewer (At first I typed ❀ and then realized that I had accidentally made a grave error (the ❀ is the worst internet offense there is (did i mention i have ADD? I swear, i didn't even plan this))) that consistently holds my interest.
        I am also bad at being sincere, and therefore need to end this comment with a link to a brief, fantastically awkward video. Enjoy.

      • Jane, thank you, dearly. This is a beyond-lovely thing for you to say, especially so sincerely. Believe me, I know how difficult it is to do serious complimenting well!

        You can be as familiar with me as you like! (Not a euphemism). Again, equally sincerely, I love your blog. If I were a cool kid from the streets, I might say that I ‘heart’ it, like one might ‘heart’ New York, but unfortunately, I am a weird kid from my house, so I wouldn’t say such a stupid thing, because it’s grammatically incorrect.

        Awkward Kristen is a favourite of mine, poor thing. I’d like to pretend I’d do ‘the stairs’ or ‘the elevator’ mimes in her situation, but I’d almost certainly do the same. Or I’d cover my face with the copies, whatever works.

      • “heart” (or <3) — when used as a verb — is simply the worst. for multiple reasons. (i plan to elaborate in a near-future post about my frustration with bad advertising, so i'll spare you.)
        Kristen, on the other hand, is simply the best. my "about me" section on facebook is the link to that video.

      • Jane my friend, you are a wonderful human being.

        Bad advertising, or ‘Badvertising’ is actively depressing. I myself have a lengthy post penned on the subject, as it’s ‘what I do’ for the day job. We must take care not to tread on each others toes, as we dance around, hurling snark and smarm at billboards and people with perfect hair, skin and teeth. Or we could just link to each other.

      • i am sometimes unintelligent and am unsure whether or not the “day job” refers to advertising, but if it does, then i will try not to offend. And I will be unsuccessful in my attempt, since my thoughts on the industry have been tainted by a) Mad Men, and b) 20+ years worth of commercials to back me up. but as i already have more than enough enemies from abe lincoln: vampire hunter costume design, i will be careful with my words.

      • Don’t worry, you won’t offend. The kind of people who take advertising seriously enough to be offended are the same people who’d see your complaint as feedback or market research.

        ‘What’s the reaction to the ad, Marjorie?’
        ‘They hate it. It’s too creepy. There’s a blonde girl with W’s for eyes who hates it hilariously. Also, speaking of hate, stop calling me Marjorie. My name is Clive.’

        How did you offend the Costume Department of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter? Sounds like a story!

      • I wrote a post bashing the movie after seeing it in the theater. One of my complaints was that the mean sexy female vampire looked more like she was from the year 2003 than the mid-19th century. Some guy in the costume department saw it and took offense. Unfortunately, I have yet to respond (I am often bad at being a decent person), so that is where the story ends.

      • Done. It is sure to offend many people in advertising (especially those working for Kay Jewelers). And I was distracted by my anger and forgot to make mention of my disgust towards “heart”/<3. I'll remember it in another post.

  11. Big Congratulations! I only found your blog couple of days ago and I liked it very much so started following. I am glad you got freshly pressed. One of my posts was freshly pressed in July; it is a fantastic feeling!
    Best Wishes,

    • Thank you, Daniela. My notifications tell me you’ve been quite diligent in checking out my scribblings, and I’ll be returning the favour properly as soon as I’m able; I assume you know how hectic this all is!

    • Nope, still a daft gump, I’m afraid. Success won’t change me, which is a shame because that’s what WordPress were hoping for.

      I would like to send you an internet hug for that pun. It was perfect.

  12. You can’t put my jacket by the door, I’m not wearing one. C’mon it’s like summer man. Well for one day at least. Anyway, I’ve already taken off my shoes and put my feet up on the sofa. You can remove me now!

    Your blog is so fun, I’ve even gone and read all the hilarity that is to be found in the comments. You aren’t just funny in the post itself, the following conversations are just like everyday comedy with friends. Your readers are humorous people in whose company one is honoured to be.

    I shall be coming here often enough to hopefully earn a place in the A Team. I will even grow some funky facial hair and wear a chunky gold chain if it helps.

    Have a delightful day πŸ™‚

    • Hello Lemonade, sorry I’m so late replying to this. You’re more than welcome to put your feet up on my metaphorical sofa. They’re only feet. (And it’s not a real sofa.)

      Thank you for awarding me the coveted adjective of ‘fun’. I have been called many things in my time, but fun is not one of them, until today! (Or, more accurately, a week ago.) To tell the truth I am pleasantly surprised with my own ability to reply with wit, as I had previously thought I might have to prepare jokes in advance for every possible comment.

      You are more than welcome to a place in whatever team you want to be in, but chose wisely: one has a theme song, true, but the other has an unbeatable healthcare plan.

      Thank you again!

  13. Damn, almost broke my finger scrolling to the bottom so I could leave your a “High-Five” & “Congrats” on being FP~!! πŸ™‚
    Anyone that likes Brass Bands is worthy of a FP and a tag-along!!

    • Thank you, sorry it took so long to reply! You must be the one in one hundred people who like those who like brass bands, and for that, I thank you.

      Here’s a video of Youngblood Brass Band, if you know them.

      • Oh damn that’s an awesome band & video.. I love Brass Bands.. period.. πŸ™‚

  14. First off, congratulations on getting FP’ed on such an impressive post. WP really got it right with you. I got FP’ed a year ago and was completely blindsided. The night before, a Thursday, I got blind drunk with a colleague on sake, pinot noir and for all I know, lighter fluid. I slept through my alarm and called out sick at The Grind; she showed up doing her best impersonation of Death On Louboutins. When I logged onto my site, I saw my stats were going haywire. I think WP sent me an email declaring I’d been FP’ed. Somehow I figured it out. I emailed my drinking buddy the great news and she ripped me a new orifice, “I’m here and you call out sick AND get a gift! You SUCK!” She gave me the silent treatment for two weeks, but like how you’re feeling now, it was great. True, it’s temporary, but hey, it’s like winning gold and gives you a taste of what it’s like to go viral. Savor it.

    • Dear Nancy,

      Sorry for only replying to your comment now, you must think me the height of rudeness. I thank you for your compliments regarding my FPing, I am delighted to be worthy of your attention.

      That must have been one hell of a morning; waking up, seeing your stats and thinking ‘Oh God, what did I post?’

      I have been very busy this week, and need to check your blog out properly. You are blogging royalty and I want to do you justice, as it were.

      • Lame Adventures is “blogging royalty”? Shirley, you jest, Chris — but I am flattered by the compliment so much so that my puny A-cup chest is now swollen with pride. At this moment I’m looking a lot like an 11-year-old Chinese gymnast that claims to be 16.

        FYI: Nancy’s a kinda/sorta pseudonym that I was too disinterested in to develop. Call me V or maybe more appropriately, call me Lame.

  15. While I was off playing superheroes with my 4 year old, I totally missed this post! Congrats on your freshly-pressed balls. I am so happy for you! Well done Biscuitballs.

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