Crumbs #6 – Judging a Book by its Cover

I think I will write and publish a book called Actual Proper Literature, so that people reading in public can silently admonish those with hack fad books simply by sitting next to them.

Alternatively, for much less effort, I could sell ‘I’M WITH STUPID’ t-shirts.

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27 thoughts on “Crumbs #6 – Judging a Book by its Cover

  1. Would you please do it quickly? There are many people who need to be shamed.

    Until your book comes out, I’m thinking of mocking up a book cover called “Anyone Who Reads Fifty Shades Is Deranged.”

    • THAT’S what we need – a selection of alternative [novel]ty covers, that cater for all shameful books:

      ‘Hiding my shame.’
      ‘I have some pride.’
      ‘At least I’m reading.’
      ‘I’m just curious, normally I read better stuff.’
      ‘I’m a reviewer.’
      ‘I’m a satirist.’
      ‘I’m Speaker7.’

      • I might use that “I’m Speaker7” so I don’t feel so weird reading Fifty Shades Freed in public–although I could be getting the looks because Hugo is with me. He might need one of those “I’m with Stupid” shirts.

  2. Ah, but if you sell the book you’ll also be known as the published author who mocks their silly literature, which entitles you to twice the disdain. You’ll look so far down your nose Twi-fans will think you’re Pinocchio.

    Sent via DroidX2 on Verizon Wireless™

    • Ah, bugger, you’re right. I’d better write under another pseudonym. How does ‘Señor Cristoforo Biscotti’ sound? Dreadful. That’s how it sounds.

      Sent via my computer what I typed it on.

    • Well said that girl! I don’t wish to tell people what to think, but bad ‘art’ should be challenged and scrutinised, not given free reign just because it’s popular.

      The book will be free to my WordPress chums, and also to anyone who brings a copy of one of the offending books as a trade and repentance. Bringing back a whole series earns you the book, a high-five and a lollipop for good behaviour.

    • I hope you do audible involuntary gasps and noises appropriately, to entice people to peer round the corners of your book to see what all the fuss is about.

      I also hope you then say something like. ‘Oh no, you’ve made your bed, and now you need to lie in the filth.’ Perhaps not as viciously as that appears…

      • Well of course, it’s quite the performance.

        If people aren’t jealous of postmodern deconstructionist theory, they deserve everything they get.

  3. Excellent idea. Can you also write a book with a huge ornate cover that looks like the Complete Works of Shakespeare or something, and call it, in ridiculously fancy typeface, ‘A Compendium of the World’s Most Intelligent Literature’? And can you make it really huge so that when we get it out on the train we have to rest it on the laps of the people either side of us? I’d love that. Fifty Shades of Shite can go do one.

  4. I think that’s a great idea. It should have a striking cover so people actually notice it – but not a woman with high heels and black stockings, because that wouldn’t be Proper Literature. You wouldn’t want the wrong kind of people holding it, either, because Proper Literature can only be properly read by Proper Literati.

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