Crumbs #5 – An Olympic Proposal

Later today the London 2012 Olympics will begin, and we will welcome the world into our home, provided they’ve wiped their feet on the doormat.

There has been wide speculation as to what the opening ceremony will be. I devoutly hope that we don’t try to out-do the Chinese. We just can’t do it, and we aren’t that extravagant as a nation. Four years ago, we accepted the flame with a loveable fool waving a flag, a man who kicks footballs kicking a football and a disposable popstar with a bus for a dress.

We need something that celebrates the best of our nation, yet shows that for all our pomp and ceremony we don’t take ourselves too seriously: dignified and intelligent and pleasantly subdued, yet with an underlying sense of knowing humour about ourselves.

Let’s just have Stephen Fry lighting the flame with a sparkler.

Stephen Fry. Image from Google.

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66 thoughts on “Crumbs #5 – An Olympic Proposal

    • You can just imagine him standing there, saying ‘My friends, my countrymen, my welcome guests. Let the games begin.’ then dropping the sparkler into a basin which erupts in flame. Fry dusts off his lapels, salutes the Queen, allows himself a wry smile and totters off the podium.

      • That would have been perfect. That’s all we would have needed.

        And I would have enjoyed the historical retrospective in the opening ceremonies if it had been done by the Blackadder crew. As it was actually done, however, not so much.

      • Please go on, I’m interested to hear other nations’ take on the ceremony. It was very much a love letter to Britain, and I was the right side of the exclusivity veil, methinks.

      • I loved the idea and the message behind it, being a salute to Britain, its contributions to the world (because there are zillions), and its history. I thought that part was great. So for me it wasn’t an issue of feeling that I couldn’t appreciate it because I wasn’t on the right side of the exclusivity. I just wish it had been done differently production-wise. It felt so schmaltzy and overly dramatic. But I suppose that’s the whole point of the opening ceremonies during any Olympics, isn’t it.

      • I agree that it was a little over the top in places, but it was a way I was largely comfortable with.

        I am a person who gets very uncomfortable around what I deem to be ‘false joy’. I find many things too saccharine, or too shallow to really mean anything. Pop music, for example, I find pretty unbearable, or anything where people might threaten to burst into song. To me it seems to be wilful ignorance anything even remotely real, or bad, which is a shame because that is where most humour comes from.

        Anyway the point is, there was some allaying self-deprecation going on last night, although it might not be so clear to non-British eyes. That the Queen allowed herself to be depicted as a skydiver, with James Bond of all people (let’s not forget how bad his puns and adultery are) is a much-needed prick in the perceived bubble of the Monarchy (and hence, Britishness), and having Mr Bean play such a large part was, as well as being funny, pretty much essential.

        It was camp, and it was earnest, but it wasn’t earnestly camp. Hang on, I’ve confused myself.

        I think we did the whole ‘massive display’ thing in a very British way, in which we invited the world to go ‘they’re a bunch of oddballs aren’t they?’ whilst enjoying all the fireworks and loud music.

      • That’s a good point, Chris. I hadn’t thought of it that way. It’s helpful to hear your view on this as someone who’s English, since you obviously “get” all of it. I was impressed that the Queen played along for that gag, I wouldn’t have guessed she’d be up for something like that. And now that you’ve explained this, I can see how the Mr. Bean thing was well suited for it.

        Maybe it was campily earnest, rather than earnestly camp?

      • I think we were all impressed with the Queen. One of the headlines this morning was ‘The name’s Majesty. Her Royal Majesty.’

        I did worry that it might have been very exclusive, so I imagine you’re viewpoint is one echoed across the world. There was a Saudi Arabian commentator who said something like ‘This is the first opening ceremony for which social networking has been essential,’ just to see the reference points from those who ‘get’ it all.

        Mr. Bean is a particularly apt choice as well: entirely physical comedy, which transcends language and social barriers. Wonderful and necessary.

        I think Camp Ernest is best mates with Camp David?

      • The link doesn’t seem to work, and when I found the same video on Youtube, it said it wasn’t available in my country.
        This is stupid, as this means athletes in London can’t watch home coverage of themselves.

      • Ah. Lame. From what I’m gathering, Olympics coverage is INCREDIBLY anal-retentive as far as being country-specific goes. My best guess being because of broadcast rights and the like.

      • Oh, NBC does that routinely each and every Olympics. It’s horrible. It’s actually a thing over here that Americans close enough to our border steal our TV signals and watch our coverage because it’s always consistently fantastic each and every Olympics.

        ^ Actual, true story.

      • I don’t blame ’em. I have a great mental image now of people trecking to Niagara and trying to nobble Canadian WiFi on the Maid of the Mist, or perhaps getting so wrapped up in Sports Coverage that their covert dinghy goes over the edge…

      • I completely agree. I unfortunately was only about to watch bits and pieces of the opening ceremony (damn you, NBC for only streaming to those who have paid for cable packages!)

      • From what I gather, NBC have a lot to answer for. They cut out a five-minute tribute to the people who died in the 7/7 bombings, which happened within 24 hours of us winning the Olympic hosting honours, and is thus intrinsically connected. One of the NBC hosts was apparently heard to mention ‘didn’t they have an attack here some time ago?’ or words to that effect. Nice, thanks for trivialising.

        Just to put this into perspective: if we’d neglected to mention 9/11 at a New York Olympics (which, whilst tragic, is not really connected to an Olympics) the US would have gone berserk.

      • I heard about that as well–NBC and Mitt Romney have done some severe damage over the past week or so, unfortunately.

        On a side note, one of my friends is boycotting the Olympics because the Olympic committee refused to have a moment of silence for the Israeli athletes murdered at the Munich games.

      • From what I gather, the IOC were the people who decided about that minute’s silence. I believe Boris Johnson (Mayor of London) has personally promised that it will happen, presumably at the closing ceremony. I THINK it was always on the cards, but not intended for the opening ceremony, but the snub from the IOC made everyone look awful – but don’t quote me on that.

        Right, I’m probably going to regret posting this when I get hate speech, but bugger it:

        Mitt is an idiot for what he said, but he wasn’t particularly well-liked over here before his gaffe. We thought he was a bit of a joke to be honest. And we love Obama.

        (When I say ‘we’, I mean the thoughts of the average Brit who themselves takes an interest in international politics. The BBC is impartial (thoroughly – I LOVE the BBC, so much respect for them) and much of the rest of our media is owned by Murdoch, but our political comedians are one of the most honest opinions you’ll get on the subject.)

        Whilst some Americans won’t trouble themselves with what goes on overseas, our political comment and comedy shows don’t take to kindly to what we deem to be global ignorance in favour of what certain U.S. citizens call patriotism.

        We know who Glenn Beck is. We know who Rush Limbaugh is. We know who Bill O’Reilly is. We can’t really understand why they’re taken so seriously, as from our perspective they don’t seem to be able to see past the edge of the country.

        Here is some information I took from the comments of the blog of the esteemed and insurmountable Byronic Man:

        “In the ’90′s American news networks closed most of their foreign offices because it was less profitable – Americans weren’t as interested in foreign news as they were in domestic. As a result, very very little foreign news got reported. Then the attacks of 9/11 happened and there were a lot of people who genuinely, sincerely didn’t have any frame of reference for why someone would attack us. Not that anyone should have “seen that coming,” but really having zero concept of foreign conflicts. That’s why when Bush said, “they did it because they hate our freedom” that was good enough for a lot of people.”

        [LINK: http://thebyronicman.com/2012/07/28/spotting-trains-with-olympic-slumdogs/#comment-11746%5D

        When John McCain said his foreign policy was to ‘Bomb, bomb, bomb/bomb bomb Iran’ (to the tune of Barbara Ann by The Beach Boys) Europe was appalled, but this was nothing compared to when he actually became a viable candidate for presidency. We don’t just like Obama because he’s a fit player for the international stage, we all breathed a sigh of relief that Obama isn’t McCain.

        You are a major world power. You HAVE to care about foreign policy because you’re one of few countries whose foreign policy – whatever it is – actually affects the whole world. If the U.K. was a state, it would vote Democrat, because your Republicans don’t have our interests at heart. And when I say ‘our’ I mean the rest of the Western world.

        Anyway, that’s enough about that. Sorry if you’re a Republican. Hope we can still be friends.

      • My friend is very Jewish and keeps up on most of those issues–I think his decision to boycott was based on the IOC, but I’m not sure.

        I am absolutely not a Republican, so absolutely no harm done whatsoever. I agree whole-heartedly with all of your comments.

        The unfortunately part right now is I happen to live in the worst area of the country regarding this kind of political thought; I am straight-smack in the middle of the South where everyone votes Republican, thumps the Bible, wants to stone gay people, and just assumes we should bomb the rest of the world into submission.

        I am a fish out of goddamn water around these people, and I can say with utter honesty that if the rest of the world were to come into contact with them, the United States as a whole would be put to shame.

      • All power to your friend, good on him. I guess I was just trying to make sure he didn’t hate the UK!

        I was saying this to the Silly Girl – America’s political system is so bizarre that if a Presidential Candidate aligns himself with a religion, he can win the election. And this is a country who has a whole amendment in their Constitution separating Church and State. In the UK, for example, aligning oneself with a religion would be a huge flaw in someone’s political standpoint – we’re properly multicultural. It could possibly cost them the election. Faith is a largely personal thing over here, especially to our politicians.

        The two main US media outlets are in New York and California, metropolitan, progressive, liberal voting areas. That’s important, because that’s how we perceive you most of the time. It’s always surprising to see Republicans do well. In reality of course, there aren’t two types of Americans, in the same way there aren’t two types of anything. It’s a spectrum of beliefs and lifestyles and it truly is the land of the free (for a comparison, one only needs look at Saudi Arabia’s preparation for the Games – 2012 and they’re only just allowing women to compete).

        As a disclaimer: I don’t wish to make an enemy of any Americans. I’m not going to say ‘I think you’re all brilliant’, that would be patronising. Every American I’ve ever interacted with has been a delight, but then again they’ve all had an interest in talking to me, so maybe I’ve never met the kind of people who would dismiss my opinion out of hand for being English. And then threaten me. And call me a cigarette. What I’d say to them is, as I said above, please take care with your foreign policy – you have a lot of friends in the global arena, but we’re a team. Almost everyone wants to get along, especially with you, because, let’s face it, you’re pretty damn awesome.

      • I completely agree with those statements–the fact of the matter is that many Americans like to forget that we are not the only people in the world, and we are certainly not the best and the brightest in the world.

        A friend of mine showed me this last night–I think you would appreciate it:

      • Fact, fact, fact, fact.

        I admit, I’m not involved in politics. I never have been and I don’t see myself turning in their direction any time soon. I’m actually pretty ignorant when it comes to politics and I feel out of my depth in conversations about them. The only things I really know or have a firm belief about are ones I’ve experienced; human rights, education, etc. I facepalm when I see a politician do something stupid and I worry over the state of the nation just like everyone else, but it is honestly one subject that I don’t feel that I have much knowledge in.

      • Surely you vote though?

        I know what you mean – it’s very easy to get overwhelmed if you’re one fish in a shoal that can’t agree which pond it wants to be in. (Next week on Convoluted Metaphors..)

        The German voting system is pretty good, as you vote once for your local government representative and once at national level for who you ultimately want in charge, meaning each vote counts much more. The UK System is poor, and the US one isn’t a great deal better. It is worth taking an interest though – we have a very right wing party here called the British National Party, who are Nazis in all but name, (not an exaggeration either) and in the European Elections four years ago, voter apathy allowed them to get two seats in European Parliament. They’re so racist it’s actually laughable, but they got in purely because enough people didn’t get off their arses and vote.

        But anyway, that’s enough politics for three/four days, especially during Olympic times! Yay! Sport! International harmony! Shiny medals!

  1. It’s sad when the little people see the the big truths of the nation. If only we were consulted on these issues, we wouldn’t think our neighbors across the sea’s were jerks. It works so much better when we can be the first one’s laughing about our own ridiculousness. I think Mr. Frye and his sparkler would be a great representation. For the US, I propose the Kardashians or Brangelina and former president George Bush choreograph a jig to the most recent chart topper, which I am proud to say is probably a lovely song by the ever so talented Justin Bieber.

    • In hindsight, I think it was a triumph – it was very much a ceremony for us rather than the world – there’s a whole heap of patriotism going on right now.

      It was extravagant and yet still self-aware, and was utterly eccentric. By the time the forty-foot Voldemort wandered on I gave up trying to think what foreign audiences might be making of this and just enjoyed it. Admittedly the social media part made me worry for what this generation is adding to the world but as it was offset by a montage of our best music and TV I didn’t really mind.

      We celebrated the best, and only the best parts of our musical output as well: the ceremony didn’t pander to any taste, there were The Smiths, Bowie, The Stones, The Jam, The Who, The Beatles, and even the current crop of Arctic Monkeys, Dizzee Rascal and Emeli Sandé were excellent choices, because if the public had had an say it would have been the abhorrent commercial pop crap that you mentioned above.

      I am thankful that it was tasteful, and whilst we certainly didn’t take ourselves seriously, we didn’t make a fool of ourselves either. Kudos, Mr Danny Boyle.

      • We, at my house, were in awe. It was really beautiful. I loved the story it told, and how it portrayed what some of your greatest strengths are. We thought the bit on health care and children’s lit was incredible, especially because healthcare is such a touchy subject here in the US, to see you really celebrate it as a good and wonderful aspect to your country was enlightening. We missed the ending putting the kids down, but I thought Mr. Boyle could not have done it any better. I was proud, and wanting to book a ticket to Englan ASAP.

      • It was bang on, and I hope it will have done wonders for our appearance on the world stage. The celebration of the Children’s Lit was where I gave up worrying about what the world thinks of us, although I suppose we could have widened it out to all our great literature.

        The NHS was rightfully championed – it’s the one thing that unites us all, regardless of politics or social status – whoever you are, if you’re British, you’re born in the NHS and sooner or later you’ll be back. I understand it’s either the envy or an embodiment of the Devil to those overseas though. It’s certainly a god thing, I can tell you that now.

        (It’s actually also the reason why Brits are perceived to have bad teeth, as I said in an earlier post – we have to pay for our dental, so we care about it in a different way to regular health care – a broken arm is less of a problem than a dirty smile.)

        One of our right-wing conservatives was kind enough to say that he thought it was a celebration of socialism in our country. It wasn’t – it was a celebration of the people of the country – the 99%, as it were. I’m a liberal though, so fuck him. Pardon my French.

        What you missed was the Arctic Monkeys (one of out best bands by a long way) and Paul McCartney playing the inevitable Hey Jude. If you’ve seen any live music event with him in, you’ve seen it before. ‘It isn’t over until six choruses of Hey Jude.’

        The flame was carried along the Thames by David Beckham, (our most visible sporting icon) passed over to Sir Steve Redgrave (our best and nicest Olympian) and handed over to seven young athletes, who lit 204 little bows, which moved up into a huge combined flame. Wonderful.

  2. I thought the opening ceremonies was amazing! I feel I should tell you this as if you were responsible for it, since you’re the only British person I know (and by “know” I mean not at all but I like to pretend). So, well done! I cried when I saw Mr. Bean, is that weird? It was a lovely representation. You live in a beautiful place!

    • I’ll pass your regards along to Mr Boyle when I see him for the weekly Everyone In Britain Meet Up.

      There were moments when I felt myself welling up; Boyle got it absolutely spot-on. Britain has a lot to be proud of, and it was, as someone said, a love letter to the nation. It’s at once a green-and-pleasant land, a world of dark satanic mills, a hotbed of creativity and gentle lunacy and a thriving patchwork metropolis. I think Bean was not only a highlight, but a necessity, as it showed we’re not averse to laughing at ourselves as a nation. If you should visit our shores, I’d be honoured to escort you. It would be so awkward.

      On that topic, Lauren, you and my other blog chums know me better than many of my real-life friends do – I’d never be this candid about my worries – it’s a weakness. In fact, you yourself know me better than most, as you seem to suffer from singleness and overtly-confessional whimsy. High-five!

      • “…we’re not averse to laughing at ourselves as a nation.”–I’m also not averse to laughing at myself as a nation, so I think I’d fit right in! I’d definitely love to visit someday! Dry, self-deprecating humour is my bag, baby (some Austin Powers for ya…though perhaps you people [yes, I said you people] don’t like that caricature? Enlighten me please, because Austin Powers in Goldmember is one of my all-time favourite movies. I’d hate to be in poor taste marching into your country ending everything I say with “baby, yeah!”). Also, in addition to Danny Boyle you must know Ricky Gervais and/or Stephen Merchant, so could you please introduce me?

        And oh god, yes, our meeting would be guaranteed awkward. Do you think if we met in person our awkwardness would cause the world to implode? Do we run the risk?

        And yes, it’s a funny thing, how revealing the writing personality can be. Some people who I see on a regular basis started reading my blog and have said to me, “Wow Lauren, I didn’t know you were so funny!” And I say, “Uhhhhh thanks….??” because I’m insulted by their surprise. You mean to say I’m not funny 24/7 like I think I am and try so hard to be?

        Eeeek. Long reply, sorry! Writers are so annoying. Ew, I called myself “funny” and a “writer” in this. Gross.

      • Well if you ever do visit, you’ll be sound as a pound, baby…

        The Austin Powers films are fist and foremost, a pisstake of James Bond, who himself is a bit of a farce. It’s also a throwback to the Sixties; Woodstock, the Stones, the Beatles etc. and I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but times change.

        There are still dialects that append all sentences with pleasantries and, for want of a better word, catchphrases, such as ‘me duck’, ‘me ol’ mucker’ and ‘darlin’, ‘pet’, (terms of endearment) as well as ‘innit’, ‘and all/an’ all that’ in place of a full stop.

        However, I imagine that if you went around talking like Austin Powers, we’d still accept you with open arms. His accent is based on a general London one, which is a bit different from the Queen’s English one that everyone everywhere in the world thinks we all speak.

        I also imagine that any gentleman you would meet over here would gladly adopt the accent for you if you requested it. As those sort of requests go, it’s one of the more feasible and fun.

        If I knew Ricky and Steve already, I’d already have used my connections to become a proper comedy writer. I have seen Steve’s stand up act live (blogged about it here: http://anxietyandbiscuits.com/2012/05/06/smerch/) but have yet to meet either of them. I have however seen and heard their entire oeuvre, and the podcasts and old XFM shows with the imbecilic Mr Pilkington are the cornerstone of two of my best friendships. I owe them quite a bit, really.

        If we were to meet, I give it four sentences before the first uncomfortable silence kicks in (of which there would be many). I could give you a guided tour of the capital with gestures, muttering and looking at my shoes. Thank goodness for these online outlets of awkwardness!

        I don’t really get opinions from readers; the few friends that know about this aren’t forthcoming with compliments, which must mean that it’s disturbing for them to read. I can only assume that I’m declining into insanity, and only I think I’m funny, although I’d never say so out loud.

        I totally, totally agree with your point about calling yourself those things – I agree so much my last sentence was dramatically repellant. Those are adjectives awarded to you by other people – they’re largely non-quantifyable and as such can be used to mean anything. Orson Wells was a writer, but so is EL James, and that is just one reason why we need better words.

        But yeah, self-awarded adjectives are arrogance of the highest accord. Eugh.

      • Sounds like your friends are just jealous of your wit and/or want to keep you down to earth. Mine on the other hand know a disaster when they see one, so they encourage me the way a teacher tells the slow kid in class their finger painting is art.

        Re: awkwardness. I feel as though you can’t really be thaaaaat awkward because a full-on awkward person wouldn’t be able to recognize the hilarity in their awkwardness and describe and write about it so eloquently. A truly awkward person has a blog written about them by another person–“Encounters With That Weirdo I Work With” or “Encounters With That Weirdo Blogger That Keeps Commenting When The Conversation is Clearly Over and I’m Scared.” Or maybe I’m confusing awkward with creepy. I’m not saying you’re creepy. Oh god, there I go. This is awkward.

        What I’m trying to say is that awkward people who know they’re awkward aren’t really awkward–they’re awesome. It’s my mantra I just made up right now to close this thought. Feel free to use it if you’d like.

        Oh how could I forget The Idiot Abroad?! Introduce me to him too, please. And the Queen (I know you haven’t heard that one before). It’s just so easy with you people (yup) because you have such cool people over there. Any Canadians you’d like me to introduce you to? That’s what I thought.

        I read that Smerch post a while ago and liked it! But didn’t physically click “Like” because then I was new and thought it would be awkward? I’ll like it now.

      • Most of my friends are as funny or funnier than me, or have much more important things to worry about, so I think they must pity me. I’m the only one that’s thought of doing a blog though.

        Thank you for that covert compliment – it’s good to know when I’ve done well. I ought to send my blog to my college teacher and get it graded, then I’ll know exactly how good it is. Were those blog post titles sly hints perhaps? “Encounters With That Weirdo I Work With’ will probably be a RomCom soon. Is the other a sly reference to me? Or were you being self-deprecating? Or did you mean someone else entirely? If it’s the first one, sorry, if it’s not the second one, sorry for even thinking that, and if it’s the third one… WHO?

        I’m going to get that mantra tattooed. (Not really – cry for help if ever there was one.) It was a great day when I realised I could get jokes out of my anxieties.

        I imagine Karl is quite difficult to understand for listeners overseas. Even for a Manc, his accent (and head) is pretty thick, and he will insist on making up his own words. If I knew Karl I’d probably be over his house squeezing his head (something Ricky used to do to annoy him). I’m glad you like the Smerch post, those were dark days; alone in Manchester, land of the shaven chimp with a head like a fucking orange, without even Bus Girl for me to oggle (at that point). The Queen is a busy lady, but she always makes time for me. We’re best buds.

      • I meant it as self-deprecating. Surprise! I thought you knew me by now, geez!! But then I thought you would think I was talking about you, hence my awkward further explanation which didn’t clarify things anyway, clearly. *sighs

        Oh god, was I supposed to reply to that or am I now being THAT person?? I’ll take your silence as a yes.

      • I did assume it was self-deprecating, but as you well know, one can never be too sure…

        I’ve just realised I didn’t take you up on your offer to meet some Canadians. The temptation to say ‘Terence and Phillip’ is almost overwhelming, but I’m better than that, as evidenced there by me not mentioning them.

        I would quite like to meet Bieber, if only to annoy his fans. I would like to meet John K. Samson and the rest of the Weakerthans (sorry to get all hipster if you haven’t heard of them, but they’re a fantastic band – a proper ‘Band To Impress Girls With’ if you know what I mean.) and also Michael Cera so I can personally thank him for his pioneering work in making awkwardness attractive.

      • Haha well, odds of meeting Bieber is pretty decent if you stick with me because his hometown of Stratford is just 40 mins away from me! When he was first on the scene he sang at the mall in London (my London) and I just happened to be there shopping but didn’t see him. I remember wondering why there were hoardes of young girls in the mall in the afternoon on a school day. Then, “One Time” exploded and the rest is history.

        I have heard of the Weakerthans but the extent of my knowledge is that they are a band. And Michael Cera is a solid choice. Though haven’t seen much of him lately…maybe he grew out of it? Let’s hope not for the Arrested Development movie’s sake!

      • I. cannot. wait. for that film. AD is the absolute pinnacle of comedic writing & narrative. If you haven’t seen much of him it’s because he’s filming it now!

  3. I totally loved the opening ceremony. You know how fond I am of all things British. Rowan Atkinson = awesome and I totally was digging the whole concept of the ceremony in general. A bit over the top at some spots, but given the event it was totally in line and acceptable. J.K. Rowling!!! (love her) It was great! Just great! *High Five Brits*

    Was it just me, or did the Queen seem bored? I know she’s getting old but come on!!! ITS THE OLYMPICS!!!

    Also, did you happen to see how strange the USA team was looking? I was not into their berets and come to find out, the whole uniform was MADE IN CHINA. Oh balls…

    • Confession: I have been having fun watching Olympic fails.

      I know that’s terrible. So much is on the line for them. I should not be enjoying their failures. But some of them are just so hilariballs.

      • I felt we managed to do a camp, big scale production in a very British way; inviting everyone to laugh at us rather than with us, and pricking a good few perceived pomposity bubbles on the way. I think Bean wasn’t just funny, he was necessary. We don’t take ourselves too seriously as a nation, and it’s great that we were able to celebrate that. It was everything we’re good at celebrated in a way that wasn’t gloating, wasn’t arrogant, and was, I feel, quite endearing in a madcap way. Joyballs.

        I read your ‘IT’S THE OLYMPICS’ like Noddy Holder says ‘IT’S CHRIIIIIIIIIIISSTMAAAASSS’ in Merry Christmas Everyone by Slade.

        It’s always good to see the USA compete in anything: you (or rather they) are always quite showy and loud, and expect to win everything, and then they realise that outside of the US, nobody plays Baseball or American Football, and they’d better start interviewing Phelps too much and belittling other nations on the coverage commentary.

        Sorry, that’s a reaction to the immediate assumption that a talented Chinese fifteen year old was on crack or something. If she swam that fast despite being on such a debilitating, mind-numbing drug, give her two medals.

        Please tell me more about Olympic Fails! This always makes me smileballs (commentary is spoof):

      • Oh yes! Go to youtube and type in 2012 Olympic Fails.

        Also, google will produce some good content through an image search. =) Enjoy!

        BTW, wicked nice diving fail! that had to smartballs.

      • Lace, that was brilliant. I don’t know whether I prefer the -just-about-to-land faces of the head/limbs-knocked-to-the-side collisions. There’s something very amusing, in a schadenfreude way about someone falling head first. It’s that unnatural pose that seems so farcical. Must hurt though…

      • Hahahaha. I LOVE THESE! I feel wonderful and terrible all at the same time. =) I’ll send you more as I discover them.

      • Thanks Lace, those faces are awesome. The second guy, well I’ve got to admit, I laughed horribly at ‘ended up withdrawing from the competition because he was in too much pain’, and then I laughed properly when I realised his name was ‘Stephen Feck’.

        I’m behind on your blog and will get back on the ball asap. I found something you’ll like too…

      • Hahaha, no matter reading the blog. I’ve been too busy doing important things, like, being a superhero and staging massive army soldier battles in the basement and I started homeschooling B this past week…. Anyways, I’ve just been a reader of others’ blogs when I have the chance, not writing =)

        Maybe I’ll get some free time soon or maybe I’ll disappear after a superhero brawl with 6 kids under 5 goes awry. Ya never know…. Infinity Fractals are tricky.

      • Excellent! I bet you look smashing in a cape. I’m so happy you have a bit of B time! It’s nice that home schooling currently seems to consist of Star Wars, army soldiers and assembling parts of the Marvel Universe. (Yes, I had to google Infinity Fractals because I thought it was a bit of maths I’d forgotten.)

      • OK, so my WordPress is failing on delivering me comment and such. Just now read this.

        I’ll be honest, I have a different approach to homeschooling than most mothers. I feel that nurturing the imagination is a stepping stone to greater things. A free mind can go so many places and reach beyond what is thought to be unattainable. Yes, we do math and writing too throughout the week… but I’m all about the fun. Learning should always be fun! =)

        P.S. B has been hoarding the Thor cape and I’ve about had it! On the upside, we just got a new Transformers game for the Wii. I’ve called dibs on the Bumblebee mask but I have a feeling I’ll be stuck with Optimus Prime.

  4. Pingback: A Very British Olympics: It’s The Taking Part That Counts | Anxiety & Biscuits

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