Crumbs #3 – Sliced Bread

Well, I’ve been doing this blogging business for three months now, and it would appear that’s already too long. Last night I had an anxiety dream about WordPress.

Anxiety dreams are often depressingly transparent, like a smashed window, and this one was no exception. I dreamt I had quoted somebody and not credited them properly, and a commenter had noticed this and ripped me to pieces for it, and all my new bloggy friends deserted me.

My subconscious commenter also pointed out that ‘he finishes all his sentences with full stops, the prick.’ As well as being quite mean, this is also not actually a problem, unless a question or exclamation mark is required, and as such was monstrously unfair.

It would seem that even releasing my worries into the blogosphere is itself too stressful. Anus.

On a related note, I once dreamt I was a loaf of bread, and I had to escape the boulangerie before the baker caught me and sliced me up. I hid on a shelf until I woke up. I had toast for breakfast.

What’s the weirdest dream you’ve ever had?


34 thoughts on “Crumbs #3 – Sliced Bread

  1. I just woke up from a dream where I was teaching zombie how to dance. This was after a Shaun of the Dead-esque event and I had been hired to try to help some zombies fit in to society.

  2. “Well, I’ve been doing this blogging business for three months now, and it would appear that’s already too long. Last night I had an anxiety dream about WordPress.”
    I just followed your blog because of these sentences alone. Hilarious because that’s about the time my speed hit CRAZY here on WordPress. Plus I started writing here for mental relief. Anyway, thanks for stopping by, that’s how I found you.

      • Someone warned me when I first started – I think its the mix of different intellects AND topics – and sex – pretty much the freedom to read and write in so many ways about sexuality and SO many other topics you just don’t start dinner conversations about! : ) Thats what keeps me coming back. A huge part is the acceptance of differences and the tenderness with honesty. You’ll seeeeeeeeee my friend. I have never been addicted to anything but this may qualify. I have pulled away a little because reading begets writing and so on and so on and I need to get things done.

  3. i dream about facebook at least once a week. it usually involves me posting something embarrassing on a stranger’s wall and being extremely humiliated. i wonder of there are more of us internet dreamers out there

    • If it’s a recurring dream, I must ask whether it’s based on something that happened in real life? Is it always the same thing? I hope this doesn’t escalate into an Internet Dreamers Anonymous – I’d hate for this to be a repeat event!
      Thanks for following!

      • I’ve never had the misfortune of accidentally posting on a stranger’s wall, no. i guess a more realistic scenario would involve me liking an item from that person’s not-so-recent facebook history (i am a serial facebook stalker and my macbook’s trackpad likes to click on things that I didn’t ask it to click on). it alternates between the wall post thing and a dream where my mother requests one of my facebook friends that i don’t actually know in real life (this, unfortunately, is based on a real-life event).

      • Haha! And then there’s that awkward moment (one of the genuinely few ‘awkward moments’ that is actually awkward) when said Facebucker gets a notification that’s out of date by two years… I keep getting likes on a picture of me and Sam Lloyd (Ted from Scrubs) two years after I met him.

  4. Hahaha That is great. If the worst things you have angsty nightmares about are citations and syntax then I think you’re doing okay! I recently dreamed that I was in a Hunger Games meets Animorphs world where the top half of me was a rhino and I hid in a washing machine so the cops wouldn’t find me. I’m not sure if it was more scary… or awesome.

    • I’d like you to know I did a genuine ‘lol’ at your comment, I particularly enjoyed the image of the front half of a rhino sticking out of a washing machine, slowly rotating in shame for an audience of policemen.

  5. Tell you what, when internet trolls hit your blog it means you are popular. I can’t wait for my first troll (guess, that means I have a long way to go still).
    Anyway, did you ask about dreams? Well, I have plenty weird ones. And my subconscious is so hyper-active that even during a ten-minute nap I dream pretty much paralyzing things. But I love dreaming. They are like ripe fields of creativity from where I harvest all my story and novel ideas. 🙂

  6. I tend to have anxiety-filled dreams. Lately my dreams involve G walking away somewhere and I can’t find him, though I know where he is I can’t get to him. I’ve had weird dreams, of course, but I can’t seem to remember a single one at the moment. Though I do recall dreaming that I was witnessing the end of the world while I stood in the bedroom of my childhood home. The “end of the world” took the shape of a dark storm cloud and I watched it as it slowly rolled over the city. When it reached the house I was in, the window I was standing in front of suddenly turned into a door with a big picture window in it and a slot for the mail at the bottom. The cloud surrounded the house and it began to push itself inside through the mail slot, taking the shape of the mail slot as it came inside. Apparently the “end of the world” cloud was very thick because it retained the shape of the mail slot as it continue to come inside the house. And then I woke up.

    • I still have yet to find out who G is, (so many comments!) but I gather he’s an ex whom you miss a little. Those kinds of dreams are so awful, because they’re traumatic enough without waking up and realising how far from real life they are. You should call him. (Again, not sure if he’s an arse – if he is an arse, don’t call him. Or call him and tell him he’s an arse.)

      I dreamt once of a ghost-like monster that I now see in every shadow. I dreamt it can’t get through doors though, so I should be okay as long as I never leave the house.

      • Things are very complicated with G at the moment. (If you read my earlier entries you will see why.) Calling him seems to be not a viable option right now, especially since he is currently traveling through the country of Thailand in some sort of “I’m going trying to find myself” vacation. Though I will admit it’s difficult NOT to. Having said that, it’d be nice if he would call me.

        If the end of the world should happen in the manner that it did in my dream, then anyone with a mail slot in their door is screwed.

      • Well, I hope you’re both doing well in your respective ways, I won’t pass any further judgment until I’ve read a little more, however.

        I will observe my postman closely, if he has a skull for a face I will tell him to piss off.

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